Things Draw to an End

Biddenham

If Hatfield was the beginning of the journey Biddenham proved to be an amenable and satisfying place for the journey to end.

After Newcastle I was continually disapppointed by the Church. Even before I applied for the job in Cumbria I had been interviewed by Canon Ian Hardaker, the Archbishop’s Appointments adviser and he had warned me that my reputation was such that I was unlikely to be considered for a senior job in the Church.

Apparently I was a ‘good starter, but a poor finisher’. Whilst I agree that my boredom thresh hold is fairly low I would not agree with that assessment. Certainly I started things, projects, initiatives, courses, jobs but I always handed them on to people more interested in maintenance than innovation.

But apparently both the reputation and the instincts went against me in being considered, for example for the position of a Team Rector. When I pointed out that the Home Office had appointed me as a Team Leader and that I was making not too bad a job of it. I was told yes but after two years you are looking for a new job. Again I had to point out that I had a three year contract, four children, three at University, a mortgage and that I needed to plan for when the job ended.

So the Church had clearly made a decision. I was not to be one of the chosen ones. I recall meeting a Vicar from Newcastle on the train North. Michael was ambitious, he had clearly set his sights on preferment and was working hard at fast tracking himself. He came along the carriage and I greeted him, ‘Michael, you’re heading in the wrong direction, First Class is that way’. I think that whilst pretending to be angry at my remark he was secretly quite pleased that I had recognised his potential.

Eventually, as I have described, Cumbria came and we moved on and then the curious circumstances surrounding the move which followed, to Bradford, and all that meant for our health and what is now called well-being.

So it seems that I fulfilled Ian Hardaker’s view of me that I was a good starter and a poor finisher, by leaving Bradford and the Millennium Project to others to complete some of the responsibility for what followed was laid at my door.

But vocation is a complex matter, some are called but few are chosen, here I am send me. The decision to leave Bradford arose during another meeting with the Millennium Commission in London. I had been called down on some pretext or other and had decided to take advantage of the meeting to visit my daughter Charlotte and Son in Law Scott at their home in Croydon.

Travelling into London the next morning I picked up a copy of The Guardian lying on the seat of the train. It was open at the jobs section and I looked inside and the first thing I saw was an advert for the post of Director of the charity Toc H. The advert stated ‘Help us build an organisation to break down barriers’. The potential of this post appealed to me enormously and immediately there and then on the train I rang the telephone number.

Following an interview in Leeds with the head hunters who were acting for the charity and a formal interview in Wendover I was offered and accepted the job.

For the first two years we lived in Liversedge on the edge of Bradford and I travelled extensively to begin to get grips with this large unwieldy organisation which was haemorrhaging money and people.

I will come to my time in Toc H later, for now I want to focus on another aspect of my time as the Curate, non-stipendiary and House for Duty, of the Parishes of All Saints, Kempston and St James, Biddenham near Bedford.

After two years I began to realise that the Toc H job’s centre of gravity was the South East and I was being required to spend more and more time travelling, either using Travel Lodge Hotel’s or more often sleeping on the office floor.

When I saw the post advertised I didn’t immediately apply but after a short holiday, I re-visited the advert in the Church Times. Eventually I contacted the Vicar Richard Sutton and he invited us down for a visit. On the drive South Janet aired her misgivings, most of which I agreed with. Eventually we arrived at the Biddenham turn off and drove slowly into the village, turning into Church End we drove into the historic part of the village, past the vicarage, a lovely roomy, airy, sixties house which proved to be a great venue for parties and parked outside the Church.

As we got out of the car and started to walk down the Church path lined as it is with the Cedars of Lebanon, Janet turned to me and said, ‘You know, it might just work’.

And it did.

I can say with absolute confidence that the happiest and most rewarding years of my ministry were the five years in Biddenham where I was not the Vicar. I enjoyed leading worship, making pastoral visits, taking communion to the elderly and house bound, conducting weddings and Baptisms. I had regular and positive feedback to my sermons from a highly intelligent and critical in the most positive sense of that word, congregation and I enjoyed a mutually supportive relationship with Richard and in due course his successor, Stephen.

I enjoyed village life and was able to use my time creatively to spend quality time with family, either in Biddenham or on the back of my travels with Toc H. I organised a pilgrimage to Poperinghe where Toc H was founded in the dark days of World War I and Biddenham became a place of quiet retreat and friendship.

Janet had her own car and a mobility scooter and was able to get around on the days she spent at home, able to enjoy the walks around the village using her scooter, she also enjoyed the garden and the large comfortable house.

What made Biddenham so special?

First, I think it was not being the Vicar. At interview Richard had asked me how someone as important as I had been, would cope with life in a quiet backwater. My answer was that my experience suggested that in the Church of England if you are the Vicar then you are the Vicar. If you are not the Vicar then you are not the Vicar, and I would not be the vicar.

In fact when I was in hospital following an accident at home I later wrote in the Biddenham Bulletin how much I valued having a Vicar rather than being a Vicar.

The second reason was, I’m sure having a significantly higher disposable income than a Vicar. With free housing, no Council tax and a reasonable salary there was for the first time more money than we had ever been used to. That brought with it, until we bought our retirement house a sense of freedom and the opportunity to relax and not worry about money.

The third reason was having no sense of responsibility to the Diocese or the Deanery or the hierarchy. They had no responsibility for me, as later became clear. And I had no duty towards them. I was unpaid, I claimed no expenses and as far as was possible I tithed my income after tax.

The fourth reason, which was probably the most important was that I had arrived at a theological position which stated that Jesus requires of us that we honour God, Love our neighbour, break bread and spill wine in memory of Him. This is all that is required of us and the means by which we bring Him into our lives.

This was a theological position that made the burden of ministry so much lighter than it had ever been.

There was also stuff to have fun with.

I arrived in Biddenham with one motorcycle, I acquired two other motorcycles which I enjoyed for three years and then on my sixtieth Birthday I sold all three and bought myself a brand new Harley Davidson which I rode back from Silverstone Harley with a big smile on my face.

We also bought our second MG Roadster a lovely black model which gave us enormous pleasure until eventually we left Biddenham for Cumbria and retirement.